Two months in and I

• Hold bank notes and business cards at each end, with two hands
• Skip across storm drains
• Say ‘can’ instead of ‘that is possible’
• Stand on the left side of the escalator
• No longer rush out when it’s sunny
• Recommend just leaving the football in the hedge
• Dry the plates with a cloth, not air
• Don’t flinch when I’m crossing a road and the counter starts
• No longer tidy up for Skype calls
• Answer the phone to strange numbers – it might be an actual someone
• Can’t really taste it if it doesn’t have chilli
• Check the floor for ants
• Check the beds for bugs
• Eat fast with chopsticks
• Appreciate a smile in a shop
• Expect to be followed around the shop
• Take a lot more cabs
• Buckle up in those cabs
• Run for buses – ten whole minutes til the next one
• Would literally be lost without my phone
• Check emails underground
• Always pack an umbrella
• Never check the weather
• Would not dream of eating on the tube
• Seldom dream
• Seldom run
• Get woken by heat, not cold
• Look for ‘large’ and ‘extra large’
• Drink whatever is cheapest, not what I actually prefer
• Feel queasy at the thought of jeans
• Drink water by the litre, and then drink some more
• Slow down on the phone
• Wish the gecko would come back to the kitchen