That it makes a crunching sound
That you really can’t catch it on an iPhone indoors if any inside lights are on
That you should lift your feet off the ground if you are stranded at a bus stop
That you should remove all plugs from sockets in the house during a lightning storm
That if the storm goes on for more than three hours it can give you an actual headache
That you would rather stay at work late than walk out in it. Here in Sing, at least.

Today I attended a funeral, my first since arriving on this island some 31 months ago. As Dad was in town he came along too, and so did my husband and son. We didn’t know the deceased personally, but we all felt welcome, as did everyone else in the city – for this was the funeral procession of Mr Lee Kuan Yew, ex-PM of Singapore and founding father of the city back in 1965. No doubt you will have heard of him this week, as news of his passing made headlines around the globe.

What a week. What a time to be living here in Singapore, what a time for my dad – social anthropologist, cultural scientist – to be visiting, and what a day for a funeral (grey and rainy, just as any good Cornish funeral should be: proper job).

Since Lee Kuan Yew’s death last Monday at 3.18am, many of us ‘visitors’ have been looking for signs of stress, outpourings of grief, overt reactions within this powerhouse of a city, whose preparations for the most exciting 50^th birthday party in August have ground to a temporary and reverential halt as it absorbs the fact that its founding father will now not be in attendance. As the week wore on, and the queue for Parliament House grew, and more people began adopting the monochrome black and white ‘uniform’ to show unanimous respect, feedback and opinion started to appear.

I spent the week signing off emails to local businesses or acquaintances with a brief note of condolence, and generally received muted thanks back. Grandpa and SM wrote in a book of condolence set up at school, which, to its credit, took the news seriously enough to cancel all end-of-term celebration assemblies, to involve the children in discussions about LKY (SM came home last Monday reciting LKY’s name, birth, rank and funeral date), and to keep the school flags lowered to half-mast all week. I collect front covers of world events (if I ever did one of those What You Don’t Know About Me fact lists, that would be a good one) and I picked up a copy of Time magazine and one of the viewing queue from the Straits Times. I didn’t just want the pictures, though, I was looking for clues as to how to react, ways to pay my respects. What should we be doing, or saying? I read on.

One blogger posted a poignant piece about how she was in a cab when news of LKY’s death came out over the radio (announced bravely by his own son and current PM Lee Hsien Loong) and that when the words came over the radio, the cab driver turned up the volume and wiped away tears. Personal opinions of The Man peppered social media feeds all week, both good and not-so-good. If one FB page gave a heartfelt personal eulogy, another posted a cynical note about chewing gum. If one Twitter feed posed suggestive questions about Mr Lee’s style of governing, another talked about how hard it was to stand in the viewing queue for eight hours in 37C with no hint of a breeze, and reminded us why so many people were doing it. My most overused personal saying is that no one likes a success story, and this was never more evident than in some reviews bandied about during the week – from near and far, both on and off the island. But beside every critic comes a person who is simply sad to lose a parent; if I had to weigh up the most prominent opinion over the past few days, the arrow would point towards the latter.

So how to pay our respects as foreigners in a host country? How to soak up the flavour of this very intense week? How to react when the person who built the country you are living in has died? It’s a bit like being a guest at someone’s house when the host has been unwell, and subsequently doesn’t return home. Do you brew symbolic cups of tea and pour stiff drinks, turn a tactful deaf ear to the not-so-good stories, make yourselves absent, stay out all day and slink back at night, opting for the low-profile approach? Does it matter how you behave? It wasn’t as if everyone I knew was rushing to pray – were they? Just because I couldn’t see it didn’t mean it wasn’t happening. What about that viewing queue? What about all the local news stories showing definite signs of prayer island-wide, temples with black and white pictures up, white flowers at the door. What about all those rolling films on Media Corps screens at bus stops, constantly showing filmettes of his life? (Critics denounced this decision as yet another example of the nation being told what to think. I saw it as an oddity, worth reporting).

By now you will have gathered that I’m not clever or political enough to give a proper balanced opinion on the life and works of Mr Lee. I enjoy and appreciate life in the city LKY built and I won’t live anywhere like it again. I recognise what its faults are (and, OK, what His faults were), but after a day like today, I don’t really want to think about them. I apologise if I have overlooked an aspect of your own life or inheritance that has suffered as a result of His work. What I think I might do is just sneak in a link (below) that gives a far better summation than I ever could. I am writing this as witness, without opinion, if this can ever be done.

The last time I witnessed a public funeral was for Princess Diana’s procession in 1997. My then boyfriend and I ran down to a spot on London’s north circular, getting there only just in time to see the departing cortege, mourners lobbing lilies at the back windscreen, muted shouts muffled by the sizzling of fast tires on wet tarmac on a damp day not unlike this one. It was a very different feeling. The car was going much faster, the rain was much colder, very few people on that pavement would have been directly affected by Her, and of course Her death was a rather more complicated affair – it was all a bit of a downer, to be honest. Today’s crowds were upbeat, unanimously respectful, even in the midst of a downpour – especially so. We wore black and white under our plastic rain macs, trudged to a waiting spot just ten minutes from the condo. A guard shouted through a loud-hailer, warning the crowds that the cortege was about to pass. ‘I couldn’t hear him,’ said Dad, afterwards, ‘what did he say?’.

The man had shouted: ‘We are all here for the same reason. The procession is about to pass, so please take care, stay well back, pay your respects to Mr Lee in the way he would have wanted.’

Everyone had cheered and, in fact, done just what was asked. And although you could say that, yes, this was what some of the critics are, well, being critical of, I preferred to see it as a crowd working together especially hard on the very day in which it mattered more than ever. After the procession (which passed helpfully right under all of our noses) everyone packed into a local hawker for lunch and kopi, crowding into corners to watch TVs bolted high on the wall next to fans blasting through the steamy heat. We got our coffee to go, drizzling slowly home again through the rain, so glad to have seen it all up close, and then we spent the next two and a half hours watching the ten eulogies on our own telly at home.

One of my oldest friends once told me how privileged she felt to be at the passing of her mother. A few years later my husband found himself in the same situation and he agreed. Later still I joined that privileged club – not one you ever want to be part of, but one in which you become, always, nothing short of grateful to say you were there. What I’m trying and failing to say (in a post that is almost as long as today’s exquisitely delivered eulogies) is that every death deserves a modicum of respect, and if we get a chance to pay some – especially on a scale such as my family witnessed today – then perhaps we should always try to do so. Some opted out of the seven-day mourning period, did not wear black and white or join the queue, and they were vocal in their own defence, and irritated by the outpouring of love for a man that, actually, not everyone did love. Maybe I am justifying my own need to have gone along and witnessed the procession. I’m not really sure.

‘If you seek his monument,’ said Lee Hsien Loong in his eulogy, ‘look around you’.
When I think about my own privilege, I think about my Dad, who always says: ‘I’ve led a privileged life,’ and he was kind enough to pass that on to me: so have I. It’s a shame that, for some, Mr Lee’s monuments are not enough to dispel the negative aspects of his life. I can only give thanks for the city I’m enjoying, and which I suppose I will continue to enjoy until we leave.

Here’s that link, a Business Times piece from today, Sun 29 Mar 2015

To-Do lists as a blog post: dull as an old sock or as fascinating as the contents of the person in front’s shopping basket? Whatever: today I’m on about a shared task of SmallMonkey’s and mine. As well as the usual rounds of homework, room tidying and plate-clearing, he has a stack of thank you cards to write due to the recent bounty from Christmas and 10^th birthday festivities. If we don’t start now we’ll be including them in the next lot of Christmas cards.

I’ve got some thanks to give as well, after a blog event I attended last week. If you check in regularly you’ll know I’m not a commercial writer, no banner ads and no hashtagging unless I’m Tweeting a link, and being a ‘vanilla’ blogger is not necessarily a good thing. I wanted to change the world with my blog, or at least make a bit of cash – turns out I’m mostly banging on about What I Did On My Holidays (not fishing, just saying). I’ve yet to work out what’s next.

No matter, I do what I do and it trolleys along nicely, and every now and then I’m invited to meet other people who blog, most of them more successfully than me, and it’s always good to hear how the other half do it.

Companies know that bloggers connect well, and Singapore lends itself charmingly to hosting such events, being a relatively small city, geographically, with a social set-up that tends to form miraculous chain-links in a Two Degrees Of Separation kind of way. Although my page is clear of business links I have done more networking in my two and a half years on the Red Dot than in the whole of the 43 years preceding our move. Isolated from familiar ground and with the jolt of the move still firing me with some enthusiasm, I am free to reinvent myself at every media event I attend, pressing my cards forward with two hands and connecting up the next morning. It is easy and fun and interesting, and it’s opened more doors for me than ever before.

So down to the blogmeet.sg event I popped, hosted at Edit Lifestyle (funky homeware store) and set up by the very clever Lucy from Lulabelle Lifestyle, who wanted to create a space in which people who rattle the keyboards could connect and hashtag themselves into a flurry of useful bonding. Aside from being a happy and fun evening, the event did just what it said on the tin, and I left two hours later with a wodge of new business cards, a stuffed goody bag and a Panama hat, plus several new blogger friends. I also reconnected with a work colleague from (clicks on CV to work it out) golly, about 17 years ago – that’s as long as I’ve known Mr PC. She still remembered my spot of bother over the wedding dress, and we’re meeting again for drinks in a few weeks. Awesome.

THANK YOU, then (because I’ve got to get mine in before SM, haven’t I?), to the following outlets who filled our chubby goody bags with items that are much nicer looking in reality than in the photo here. Clockwise from top left:

• Fancy and stunning Panama from Hat of Cain: yep, packing it for Bali at Easter
• Discount vouchers from Hediard (scrummy edibles) and Ribbon and Roses (pretty things)
• Beautiful silk thread bangles and voucher from Simone Irani
• Set of beautiful hemmed hankies from Apple Tree
• Aromastick and discount voucher from Havaroma
• Gorgeous grey bracelets and voucher from Jasper Living
• Cool greetings cards from Just My Type
• Smart leather key holder from Naaka Enterprises
• Scrummy potions plus discount from Katharos

Pictured centre: Sweet croc dangler and discount voucher from Tamarind Living; funky ring and discount from Shiva Designs.

See? #swagtastic. That’s the next few birthdays sorted, plus a lot more padding in the old contacts book. Not a bad evening’s work. Consider yourself properly thanked, Lucy @ Lulabelle.

PS: Did I mention the Panama? (oh, the Panama)

There it goes again, Singapore doing that deja vu thing, only it’s always real deja vu, never imagined. Last time it was a Dad memory that repeated itself from a different vantage point: oh, it’s too hard to explain, take a look here (it’s not a long entry, don’t worry).

That one was a Dad-based memory and this one’s Dad-based again, only rather than being set in the woody enclave of last time (see link, above), when it happened this time I was on a bus going to SM’s school, when the bus I was on pulled out a little in order to get around a rugged corner of construction work. As we sidled past I noticed that part of the hoardings had been taken down, or pulled to one side, and I peered through the gap.

And there it was, at last. In the time it took us to squeeze past and be on our way, I saw the food court that I’ve spent the last three years trying to recall, explaining and describing it to countless people in the hopes that I might find it and go there again. It was John’s aunt who took us there – me, Mr PC, SM and Grandpa – on our first trip to Singapore in winter 2011. I liked the place a lot, for some reason. When I have tried to describe it, people always try to help. ‘Oh, that’s Newton,’ says someone. ‘Maxwells,’ says another. ‘Bukit Timah,’ said my map-voice when I shut my eyes and tried to recall the car trip and the route in relation to that journey’s starting point, but my map voice was wrong, I was too far east. To make it more complicated we had visited the food court at night, so describing it to anyone was always going to be tricky.

Anyway, thanks to this city’s wonderful way of taking you right back to places you’ve been to before, without you realising it, we can now all relax, because this is just what had happened. All we have to do is wait until they finish building the MRT line by those food courts and then we can hop on the No 75 and go and get our bowls of noodles. I love your interlacing, Singapore, you do it so well – you’re like a mystical puzzle in a very safe setting, with kway teow in the pot at the end of the rainbow instead of gold. Brilliant.

I’m not kidding when I say that – I mean, I really don’t know, half the time, as the Mandarin classes are getting more and more tricky, although it does help that in Chapter 8 we’ve started talking about cats and dogs, because to be honest that interests me a lot more than who is a student and whether or not I am going swimming tomorrow. Give me a xiăomāo any time.

I’m showing off, of course. Wish I was so cocksure in class.

Three sleeps. I couldn’t have planned the countdown to UK better: this has turned out to be one of the most frantic and busiest weeks I’ve ever had, and that keeps the butterflies out of my tummy. When I sit down to think about our trip I’m a popcorn pan of excitement. By turns, as if to trumpet its own treats before I leave, Singapore has unfurled a couple of funky local sightings over the past few days:

• large parrot riding on handlebars of old man’s bike (Victoria St, nr central library)

• massive and beautiful vine wrapped around street lamp (Loewen Rd, Dempsey)

• crazy red bird with dark blue rooster-type head ruffles (Sentosa Cove Village)

• jagged red clouds on morning run (corner of Commonwealth & Queensway)

Touché, Red Dot.