In 1992 HRH Queen Elizabeth II, in her Guildhall speech, described the preceding year as one ‘annus horriblis’. As I recall she had, actually, just had a shocker of a year, full of things far more serious than the odd corgi with a leaky bottom. It’s a great phrase, nothing like a spot of Latin to give weight to words, especially when the words themselves look a bit manky. But if you’ve ever had one of them, it’s not something you want to repeat.
I spent the first few months of Small Monkey’s time here wondering whether my son was embarking on his own ‘horrible year’. I’m not a fan of hindsight so I won’t go back over the details: basically for him the move wasn’t ‘fun’ as promised, more of a shock – one that we hadn’t anticipated. New teach was tough, he didn’t like TheHeat as much as I always thought he had on previous trips out here, he missed his mates. Doesn’t sound like much but when you’re a boy of seven it can all add up, and the resulting tinges of depression made it a very tough year for him and a bit of a tough one for us too, in a way that I’ve not detailed here (because after all shouldn’t this be about me me me, right?). I dunno, I guess writing the words on here would have meant I had to properly deal with them instead of just complaining endlessly to anyone who would listen (er, thanks for that Everyone). In any case it was his business, not for the public; I felt hugely over-protective all year.
Hey though, what do you know? School started again this week and OK, a small reshuffle may have been demanded (after the debacle of last year I wasn’t going to settle for the wrong cocktail of ingredients), and a hurried rejig granted (reminding me so much of my own mum’s infamous trip ‘downtheschool’ on the one occasion I’d been put in a room with my nemesis) and an agreement was reached, and up the steps of the dirty white bus he went, courage levels boosted by a summer of love, and the house was once again quiet, bar the sound of over-protective nails being gently chewed.
What a change, for many reasons. Being established, liking his teacher, enjoying the work, realising the friends he made last year are a bit fabulous – a few days of all this has changed our house. How lovely it’s been every night this week when he’s paced back up the path, slightly sulky, wobbly tonight after dozing on the bus, pestering for snacks, complaining about homework, in other words behaving completely normally, aka ‘HowHeAlwaysDidBefore’. No terrified, wan expressions, no churning stomachs, sudden appetite loss, quiet sobbing at bedtime. Not once have I had to beg ‘PLEASE think of one good thing to say’, or bribe him with extra canteen candy, sit up with him late at night, tell him to man up*, promise him a puppy**, promise him next day would be better when in fact none of us knew if it would be. He won’t ever love school days, neither did I, and we’ll get the usual complaints, normal ones, but that’s all we need, and it’s so much more like it. God save the Queen.
*I did it once. I’m not proud. I was a bit tired…
**Yeah, kidding. A gecko, maybe
Ohh, snap on all that. My eldest struggled too with the move, and it was so great to see him bounce into the new classroom this year, full of his, now, old friends. I so remember how awkward we all felt that first day, feeling we’d never fit in. All those scary Dutch people, I was not used to that after 6 years in the UK. And now the kids love the school, and I realised on the open day how many friends I had made too.
I never wrote about my sons struggles either, I suppose after a certain age it becomes a privacy issue. I wrote quite personal stuff when they were babies and toddlers, but now can just image it all getting back to his mates at school… not cool. (it also helped that up to last year we lived in a country where people could not actually read my blog, that lovely language barrier gave a lot of privacy)
K I think you have much more clarity of thought on this, being a ‘proper expat’ and all that. It is amazing how much better that feeling of belonging makes everything. Funny about the language barrier thing 🙂
I just came across to your site and it is unreal how similar your story is to mine… reading this post made me feel hopeful about “next year” (we are only a month in) so wanted to thank you for making me smile. Your story of coming over here, not taking a break before, being married to a traveler, finally finding time to go back to school, moving with a 7 year old son who struggled at school.. tough teacher, tummy aches, hating school days… finding it too warm in the big bed after a bad dream… wanting a puppy.. trouble at the mill and how it makes you feel about writing.. really really unreal.. I will keep on reading 🙂
Weird! How funny 🙂 Hope you settle down soon, life is better once the bumpy groundwork is all done…