So this course, then. Wish I’d listened when they told me it was a tough one. What was I thinking? There are around 30 pages of dense text to be read each week. Plus visits to be made to keep you up to scratch with what’s what. In terms of lectures and practicals these take up roughly six hours out of the house on Tuesdays and about five on Fridays. Soon there will be tours to shadow, with trained docents and trainee docents. There will also be trips around relevant places of interest and our own talks to prepare. I’m to submit my first paper in about a week’s time – that’s a finished draft of the first five minutes of my actual tour, encompassing the first bit of the talk. I should probably transcribe my notes from the last month, plus take a look at the postings that have popped up online from my fellow trainees – it’s all on our system to be looked at. If I add that little lot to the rest of the diary (social life, chores, visiting guests, freelance work, school stuff) there’s not a lot of time left. My only remaining lunch slot until late November has just gone. I think the last time I was this busy was when I tried to go back to work after SM was born. Yeah, I was rubbish at that too.

I’m growing more and more terrified of getting out there in front of the pack and acting like I know what I’m on about. So far I’m a bit swamped by what there is to memorise because it’s not all easily understandable. I don’t get half the cultural references and have to work that much harder on understanding icons, motifs, religions, social codes. I think I thought that if I could use my baking skills to make local kueh to impress people at snack time, pop in to the galleries a few times and choose some favourites to point at, employ my big mouth to fill the tour’s hour-long time slot, chuck in some jokes for a laugh and buy some pretty ‘tour’ clothes I might be able to get away with it, but I now think it’s rather more serious.

Is it too late to get off?